A/N: It's been half a year since I finished something. I wrote some scenes but didn't have enough inspiration to finish anything. But I keep trying to get back to writing and in doing so tonight I wrote this piece. It had a working title 'Setsunai-chan' as Tegoshi once called his solo song.
I wake up. At first I think it’s morning by the light that is sipping through my eyelids but I soon realize it is still night and the light is coming from the full moon. As my eyes focus slowly, I see the pillow next to me is empty and you are sitting on the bed with your back to me. I don’t know what to make of it, it almost feels like I’m intruding upon a private scene so I turn away thinking of getting back to sleep. Except all of a sudden, I am fully awake.
It’s not uncommon for me to wake up in the middle of the night like this. I used to think my sleeping pattern was really messed up but then I read that before the age of technology people would naturally have two phases of sleep. They woke up after midnight, checked up on their children, fed the cattle, and also made love. So if that is true, maybe my schedule is normal and everyone else is weird.
I look back at you. You sit at the edge of the bed perfectly still facing the window, but since I live in a high-rise, all you can see is the night sky adorned by the glowing disk. Your slender frame looks so beautiful in the moonlight I absent-mindedly wish I could take a picture. I slowly sit up in bed. If you heard me, you didn’t show any indication of it. I reach out my hand but it gets suspended in mid-air as if encountering an invisible barrier. It’s ridiculous considering what we’ve done just a few hours earlier but back then I had no doubts you wanted it.
After a minute I reach out my hand again and this time it lands on your shoulder. You turn to me slowly. I hold my breath wondering what expression you’ll wear, whether you’ll smile or frown. It is neither and that makes me even more nervous. You look at me without saying anything, your eyes big and sad. You are the strongest person I ever knew but right now you look so fragile I feel a strange aching in my chest. I want to ask what’s on your mind, but I feel like that that would break the spell.
Instead, I put my arms around you bringing you closer. I don’t know if I’m breaking the rules but I can’t help myself. You don’t resist leaning into my side and resting your head on my shoulder. We sit like this for a few minutes. Then you look up at me as if searching for something. My heart beats faster under the scrutiny. You lean in and kiss me.
The kiss is gentle but lingering. It feels like a blessing. When it ends, you move away and it’s clear you want to go back to bed. As I lie back and settle for sleep, you scoot close facing me and our bodies touch. Unable to hold back, I run my hands over your naked back before bringing you even closer into my arms. You sigh contentedly into my chest and I can feel my mind submerging into darkness.
My body pillow lies on the floor, abandoned.